6 miles and some guilt

Last night I didn't want to go to the gym and run. I just was tired. Instead of enjoying a night off I worried...that I will lose my desire to run...that I will start to lose my endurance and my speed work will go out the window....with two kids, a husband, beagles and life in general it really is a challenge to find time to run....I feel bad when I hurry to put the kids to bed by 730/8 so I can squeeze in a night run...then if I let the kids stay up and I don't get to run I feel guilty and fat....I've been running for almost 2 years now and I have gone from 31:31 5k to a 24:30 5k and from a 2:07 half to a 1:52 half...I don't want to stop and I don't want to slow down....but right now with winter looming and no races planned until next spring it's a fear I have.....these are just my random thoughts tonight all stemmed from me sitting on the couch last night telling C "I don' t want to go" and him looking at me like I will never run again...then me reminding him that I have only once or twice said that over the last 18 months of consistently running....some weeks I don't put in the mileage I'd like but I am out there running nonetheless....anyhow here is what I did tonight

6 miles - 52:39 - 8:46 pace
Someone stole my handheld water bottle so I didn't have it and was thirsty....my legs were weird the first 4 miles, I have had this before in between training plans, where my knees feel like they are going to give out. But finally around 4.5 miles i felt strong and enjoyed the rest of the run. I told myself I could stop after 10 Jason Mraz songs....I ended up listening to 12 plus a random song on my 5K playlist.